Today's Message Index:
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1. 07:12 PM - Fw: Fw: Pilot talk. (lloyd SILVERMAN)
2. 07:20 PM - (Jim Addington)
3. 07:34 PM - Re: (Nancy Gilliam)
Message 1
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| Subject: | Fwd: Fw: Pilot talk. |
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: lloyd silverman <LLOYDSSS11@msn.com>
Subject: Fw: Pilot talk.
----- Original Message -----
From: lloyd silverman<mailto:LLOYDSSS11@MSN.COM>
Cc: commander-list<mailto:commander-list@matronics.com> ; MARIO
PINELLA<mailto:PINCAPI@HOTMAIL.COM> ; PRAC01 bill
ortiz<mailto:PRAC01@aol.com> ; ROBERT
KLEIN<mailto:ROBIKAKLEIN@GMAIL.COM> ; steve
zitrin<mailto:ascountry@yahoo.com> ; STEW WESTCHESTER
SIGN<mailto:WESTSIGN1@AOL.COM> ; WALTER LEIGH<mailto:CHLEIGH@JUNO.COM>
Sent: Monday, December 01, 2008 10:00 PM
Subject: Fw: Pilot talk.
----- Original Message -----
From: scott<mailto:sboyn@frontiernet.net>
Cc: edmege@optonline.net<mailto:edmege@optonline.net>
Sent: Monday, December 01, 2008 9:27 PM
Subject: Fwd: Pilot talk.
c190guy@yahoo.com<mailto:c190guy@yahoo.com>,
turbohart@yahoo.com<mailto:turbohart@yahoo.com>,
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Subject: Fwd: Pilot talk.
Some new stuff.. Most pretty witty .
nick
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW
From: Howard Farr <howfarrout@sbcglobal.net<mailto:howfarrout@sbcglobal.net>>
Date: November 30, 2008 11:27:46 PM EST
To: "Scott J. Farr" <scott@farroutpro.com<mailto:scott@farroutpro.com>>
Subject: Pilot talk.
I hope those of you who fly in the back of the airplane
aware that pilots have a sense of humor.
Well, they aren't all new... and probably not all
real.....but some are.
------------------------
British Airways flight asks for push back
clearance from terminal.
Control Tower replies: 'And where is the world's
most experienced airline going today without filing a flight plan?'
-----------------------
ATC: 'Alitalia 345 continue taxi holding
position 26 South via Tango check for workers along taxiway.'
Ali 345: 'Taxi 26 Left a via Tango. Workers
checked - all are working'
-----------------------
ARN851: 'Halifax Terminal, Nova 851 with you out
of 13,000 for 10,000, requesting runway 15.'
Halifax Terminal (female): 'Nova 851 Halifax,
the last time I gave a pilot what he wanted I was on penicillin for
three weeks. Expect runway 06.'
--------------------------
ACA1147: ' Moncton , Air Canada 1147, can you
get the winds from 167 above us?'
CZQM: 'As soon as I get a chance, I will.' (some
time passes with continuous radio chatter)
ACA1147: ' Moncton , 1147, what are his winds up there?'
CZQM: 'Standby for that, please' (more radio chatter)
ACA1147: ' Moncton , can you ask company 167 for
his winds?'
CZQM: 'Ok, 1147 and 167, I have a little too
much to do for that sort of thing right now. I'll leave it up to you
guys to go over to company frequency and pass winds.'
-----------------------
Lost student pilot: 'Unknown airport with Cessna
150 circling overhead, identify yourself.'
-----------------------
Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what??
Pilot: Yes, SIR
---------------------------
ATC: 'Cessna G-ARER What are your intentions? '
Cessna: 'To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and
Instrument Rating.'
ATC: 'I meant in the next five minutes not years.'
--------------------------
Controller: AF123, say call sign of your w ingman.
Pilot: Uh... approach, we're a single ship.
Controller: oh, oh sh$t! You have traffic!
---------------------
O'Hare Approach: USA212, cleared ILS runway 32L
approach, maintain 250 knots.
USA212: Roger approach, how long do you need me
to maintain that speed?
O'Hare Approach: All the way to the gate if you can.
USA212: Ah, OK, but you better warn ground control.
----------------------
ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 3,000 ft on QNH 1019.
Pan AM 1: Could you give that to me in inches?
ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 36,000 inches on QNH 1019
------------------------
Cessna 152: 'Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred'
Controller: 'Roger, contact Houston Space Center '
--------------------------
Beech Baron: Uh, ATC, verify you want me to taxi
in front of the 747.
ATC: Yeah, it's OK. He's not hungry.
-------------------------
Student Pilot: 'I ' m lost; I'm over a big lake
and heading toward the big E.'
Controller: 'Make several 90 degree turns so I
can identify you on radar.'
(short pause)...
Controller: 'Okay then. That big lake is the
Atlantic Ocean . Suggest you turn to the big W immediately ..'
--------------------
Pilot: 'Approach, Acme Flt 202, with you at
12,000' and 40 DME.'
Approach: 'Acme 202, cross 30 DME at and maintain 8000'.'
Pilot: 'Approach, 202's unable that descent rate.'
Approach: 'What's the matter 202? Don't you
have speed brakes?'
Pilot: 'Yup. But they're for my mistakes. Not yours.'
-----------------------------
Tower: '...and for your information, you were
slightly to the left of the centerline on that approach.'
Speedbird: 'That's correct; and, my First
Officer was slightly to the right'
-------------------------------
A deer is on the runway... so...
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off.
Student: 'What should I do? What shou ld I do?'
Inst: 'What do you think you should do?'
(think-think-think)
Std: 'Maybe if I taxi toward him it'll scare him away.'
Inst: 'That's a good idea.' (Taxi toward deer,
but deer is macho, and holds position.)
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off, runway NN.
Std: 'What should I do? What should I do?'
Inst: 'What do you think you should do?'
(think-think-think)
Std: 'Maybe I should tell the tower.'
Inst: 'That's a good idea.'
Std: Cessna XXX, uh, there's a deer down here on
the runway (long pause)
Tower: Roger XXX, hold your position. Deer on
runawy NN cleared for immediate departure.
(Two seconds, and then -- I presume by
coincidence -- the deer bolts from the runway, and runs back into the
woods.)
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for departure, runway
NN.Caution wake turbulence, departing deer.
It had to be tough keeping that Cessna rolling
straight for take-off.
-----------------------
Controller: 'USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland
Center 135.60. (pause)
Controller: 'USA353 contact Cleveland Center
135.60!' (pause)
Controller: 'USA353 you're just like my wife you
never listen!'
Pilot: 'Center, this is USA553, maybe if you
called her by the right name you'd get a better response!'
--------------------
Pilot: 'Approach, Federated 303 with you at
8000' for vectors ILS, full stop.
Approach: 'Unable Federated 303. The ILS is out
of service.'
Pilot: 'We'll take the VOR then.'
Approach: 'Sir, the VOR's in alarm right now. Standby.'
Pilot: 'OK, guess it'll have to be the ADF then.'
Approach: '303, unable the ADF right now for
traffic saturation.'
Pilot: 'OK, approach. State my intentions.'
-----------------------
BB: 'Barnburner 123, Request 8300 feet.'
Bay Approach: 'Barnburner 123, say reason for
requested altitude.'
BB: 'Because the last 2 times I've been at 8500,
I've nearly been run over by so me bozo at 8500 feet going the wrong
way!'
Bay: 'That's a good reason. 8300 approved.'
------------------------------
Pilot: Oakland Ground, Cessna 1234 at Sierra
Academy . Taxi, Destination Stockton
Ground: Cessna 1234, Taxi Approved, report
leaving the airport
------------------------------------
Controller: 'FAR1234 confirm your type of
aircraft. Are you an Airbus 330 or 340?'
Pilot: 'A340 of course!'
Controller: 'Then would you mind switching on
the two other engines and give me 1000 feet per minute, please?'
--------------------------
Tower (in Stuttgart ): 'Lufthansa 5680, reduce
to 170 knots.'
Pilot: 'This is here like Frankfurt . There is
also only 210 and 170 knots...But we are flexible.'
Tower: 'We too. Reduce to 173 knots.'
---------------------------
Tower: 'Delta Zulu Romeo, turn r ight now and
report your heading.'
Pilot: 'Wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344, 345...'
---------------------------------
Pilot Trainee: 'Tower, please speak slowly, I am
a baby in English and lonely in the cockpit'
---------------------------------
M?nchen II Tower: 'LH 8610 cleared for take-off.'
Pilot (LH 8610): 'But we are not even landed.'
Tower: Yes, who is then standing at 26 south ? '
Pilot (LH 8801): 'LH 8801.'
Tower: 'OK, then you are cleared for take-off.'
--------------------------------
Tower: 'Aircraft on final, go around, there's an
aircraft on the runway!'
Pilot Trainee: 'Roger' (pilot continues approach)
Tower: 'Aircraft, I said GO AROUND!!!'!
Pilot Trainee: 'Roger'
The trainee doesn't react, lands the aircraft on
the numbers, rolls to a twin standing in the middle of the runway,
goes around the twin and continues to the taxiway.
------------------------
Tower: ' Mission 123, do you have problems?'
Pilot: 'I t hi nk, I have lost my compass.'
Tower: 'Judging the way you are flying, you lost
the whole instrument panel!'
-----------------------
Controller: 'CRX600, are you on course to SUL?'
Pilot: 'More or less.'
Controller: 'So proceed a little bit more to SUL.'
----------------------------
Pilot: 'Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242
request start up and push back, please.'
Tower: 'KLM 242 expect start up in two hours.'
Pilot: 'Please confirm: two hours delay?'
Tower: 'Affirmative.'
Pilot: 'In that case, cancel the good morning!'
--
LLOYD
Message 2
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Subject: Great Story
A nice presentation of the Wrong Way Corrigan story.
Another one from the Greatest Generation!
You will love the music.
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttIEtl7j7k0>
http://www.youtube.com:80/watch?v=ttIEtl7j7k0
You will also enjoy the Dame Vera Lynn videos that
show up after the Corrigan one. They Knighted Vera Lynn after
the war hence her title Dame Vera Lynn.
Jim Addington
N444BD
Message 3
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Commander-List: To: jtaddington@verizon.net
Subject: Great Story
A nice presentation of the Wrong Way Corrigan story. Another one from the G
reatest Generation!You will love the music. http://www.youtube.com:80/wat
ch?v=ttIEtl7j7k0 You will also enjoy the Dame Vera Lynn videos thatshow
up after the Corrigan one. They Knighted Vera Lynn after the war hence her
title Dame Vera Lynn.
Jim Addington
N444BDTHIS IS REALLY a great presentation!! Roland Gilliam
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