Today's Message Index:
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0. 09:44 AM - Fund Raiser - Just Two Days Left! - Still Well Behind... (Matt Dralle)
1. 01:25 PM - Fw: Qantas Airlines absolute crack up (Peter Disher)
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| Subject: | Fund Raiser - Just Two Days Left! - Still Well Behind... |
Dear Listers,
There are just two more full days left in this year's List Fund Raiser. Over the
last couple of weeks I have received some really nice comments from members
on what the Lists have meant to them and I really appreciate the feedback!
At this point, unfortunately, we are still well behind last year in total Contributions
to support the continued operation of these services. I really want
to keep providing these Lists and Forums to the home built community, but it takes
resources. Since there's no advertising budget or deep pockets to keep the
operation a float, it's *solely your generosity* during the yearly Fund Raiser
that keeps things going. Please make a Contribution today so that I can keep
the bills paid and the services and systems turned on. If you've been putting
off showing your support for the Lists, now is the time to do it!
To make a contribution with a Credit Card or though PayPal at that Matronics Contribution
web site:
http://www.matronics.com/contribution
Or, drop a check in the mail:
Matronics / Matt Dralle
581 Jeannie Way
Livermore, CA 94550
USA
Thank you in advance for your support! It is very much appreciated...
Matt Dralle
Matronics Email List Administrator
Message 1
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| Subject: | Fwd: Qantas Airlines absolute crack up |
Sent from my iPad
Begin forwarded message:
> Date: 28 November 2015 at 6:26:33
> Subject: Fwd: Qantas Airlines absolute crack up
>
>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Qantas Airlines: Repair Division
>>
>> In case you need a laugh:
>> Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school
diploma to fix one.
>>
>> After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet'
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
>> The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, a
nd then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.
>>
>> Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
>> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (
marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenanc
e engineers.
>>
>> By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident.
>>
>>
>> P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
>> S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
>>
>> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
>> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>>
>> P: Something loose in cockpit.
>> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>>
>> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
>> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>>
>> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
.
>> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>>
>> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
>> S: Evidence removed.
>>
>> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
>> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>>
>> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>> S: That's what friction locks are for.
>>
>> P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
>> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>>
>> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
>> S: Suspect you're right.
>>
>> P: Number 3 engine missing.
>> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>>
>> P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!)
>> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>>
>> P: Target radar hums.
>> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>>
>> P: Mouse in cockpit.
>> S: Cat installed.
>>
>> And the best one for last..................
>> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget poundin
g on something with a hammer.
>> S: Took hammer away from midget.
>>
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>> ************************************************************************
*************
>>
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>> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
>> www.avast.com
>>
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>> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
>> www.avast.com
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>> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
>> www.avast.com
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