---------------------------------------------------------- Lightning-List Digest Archive --- Total Messages Posted Sat 11/28/15: 2 ---------------------------------------------------------- Today's Message Index: ---------------------- 0. 09:44 AM - Fund Raiser - Just Two Days Left! - Still Well Behind... (Matt Dralle) 1. 01:25 PM - Fw: Qantas Airlines absolute crack up (Peter Disher) ________________________________ Message 0 _____________________________________ Time: 09:44:21 AM PST US From: Matt Dralle Subject: Lightning-List: Fund Raiser - Just Two Days Left! - Still Well Behind... Dear Listers, There are just two more full days left in this year's List Fund Raiser. Over the last couple of weeks I have received some really nice comments from members on what the Lists have meant to them and I really appreciate the feedback! At this point, unfortunately, we are still well behind last year in total Contributions to support the continued operation of these services. I really want to keep providing these Lists and Forums to the home built community, but it takes resources. Since there's no advertising budget or deep pockets to keep the operation a float, it's *solely your generosity* during the yearly Fund Raiser that keeps things going. Please make a Contribution today so that I can keep the bills paid and the services and systems turned on. If you've been putting off showing your support for the Lists, now is the time to do it! To make a contribution with a Credit Card or though PayPal at that Matronics Contribution web site: http://www.matronics.com/contribution Or, drop a check in the mail: Matronics / Matt Dralle 581 Jeannie Way Livermore, CA 94550 USA Thank you in advance for your support! It is very much appreciated... Matt Dralle Matronics Email List Administrator ________________________________ Message 1 _____________________________________ Time: 01:25:54 PM PST US From: Peter Disher Subject: Lightning-List: Fwd: Qantas Airlines absolute crack up Sent from my iPad Begin forwarded message: > Date: 28 November 2015 at 6:26:33 > Subject: Fwd: Qantas Airlines absolute crack up > > >> >> >> >> >> Qantas Airlines: Repair Division >> >> In case you need a laugh: >> Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. >> >> After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. >> The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, a nd then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight. >> >> Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. >> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots ( marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenanc e engineers. >> >> By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. >> >> >> P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. >> S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. >> >> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. >> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. >> >> P: Something loose in cockpit. >> S: Something tightened in cockpit. >> >> P: Dead bugs on windshield. >> S: Live bugs on back-order. >> >> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent . >> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. >> >> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. >> S: Evidence removed. >> >> P: DME volume unbelievably loud. >> S: DME volume set to more believable level. >> >> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. >> S: That's what friction locks are for. >> >> P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. >> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. >> >> P: Suspected crack in windshield. >> S: Suspect you're right. >> >> P: Number 3 engine missing. >> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. >> >> P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!) >> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. >> >> P: Target radar hums. >> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. >> >> P: Mouse in cockpit. >> S: Cat installed. >> >> And the best one for last.................. >> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget poundin g on something with a hammer. >> S: Took hammer away from midget. >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ************************************************************************ ************* >> >> >> >> >> >> >> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software. >> www.avast.com >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software. >> www.avast.com >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software. >> www.avast.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Other Matronics Email List Services ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Post A New Message lightning-list@matronics.com UN/SUBSCRIBE http://www.matronics.com/subscription List FAQ http://www.matronics.com/FAQ/Lightning-List.htm Web Forum Interface To Lists http://forums.matronics.com Matronics List Wiki http://wiki.matronics.com Full Archive Search Engine http://www.matronics.com/search 7-Day List Browse http://www.matronics.com/browse/lightning-list Browse Digests http://www.matronics.com/digest/lightning-list Browse Other Lists http://www.matronics.com/browse Live Online Chat! http://www.matronics.com/chat Archive Downloading http://www.matronics.com/archives Photo Share http://www.matronics.com/photoshare Other Email Lists http://www.matronics.com/emaillists Contributions http://www.matronics.com/contribution ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- These Email List Services are sponsored solely by Matronics and through the generous Contributions of its members.