Today's Message Index:
----------------------
1. 08:49 PM - Fw: B: slightly off topic for the pilots on the list (Jeff Bertsch)
Message 1
| INDEX | Back to Main INDEX |
| NEXT | Skip to NEXT Message |
| LIST | Reply to LIST Regarding this Message |
| SENDER | Reply to SENDER Regarding this Message |
|
| Subject: | Fwd: B: slightly off topic for the pilots on the list |
bill weakley <bill_weakley@hotmail.com>,
Dennis Bentley <Omaha8@houston.rr.com>,
carl boddie <cboddie@industrialpolymers.com>,
Ed Henkel <ed_henkel@sbcglobal.net>,
Thomas Nguyen <TNGUYEN@oceaneering.com>,
RV4list <rv4-list@matronics.com>
--> RV4-List message posted by: Jeff Bertsch <noms1reqd@yahoo.com>
Most of these I've seen before, but some are new ones... and all true.
Jeff
John Foose <foosejl@cablespeed.com> wrote:
From: "John Foose" <foosejl@cablespeed.com>
Subject: B: slightly off topic for the pilots on the list
Subject: Pilotisms
> >
> >
> >The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the
temperature
> >of your coffee.
> >--- Gunter's Second Law of Air Travel
> >
> >The three worst things to hear in the cockpit:
> >The second officer says, "Damn it!"
> >The first officer says, "I have an idea!"
> >The captain says, "Hey, watch this!"
> >
> >"In the Alaska bush I'd rather have a two hour bladder and three hours of
> >gas than vice versa."
> >--- Kurt Wien
> >
> >Lady, you want me to answer you if this old airplane is safe to fly? Just
> >how in the world do you think it got to be this old?
> >
> >"Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The optimist
> >invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute."
> >--- George Bernard Shaw
> >
> >"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are
composed
> >entirely of lost airline luggage."
> >--- Mark Russell
> >
> >When asked why he was referred to as 'Ace: "Because during World War Two,
I
> >was responsible for the destruction of six aircraft, fortunately three
were
> >enemy."
> >--- Captain Ray Lancaster, USAAF.
> >
> >If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic
> >helicopter fly-ins?
> >--- Anonymous
> >
> >Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed.
> >--- Anonymous
> >
> >"I never liked riding in helicopters because there's a fair probability
the
> >bottom part will get going around as fast as the top part."
> >--- Lt. Col. John Wittenborn, USAFR
> >
> >"When it comes to testing new aircraft or determining maximum
performance,
> >pilots like to talk about "pushing the envelope." They're talking about a
> >two dimensional model: the bottom is zero altitude, the ground; the left
is
> >zero speed; thetop is max altitude; and the right, maximum velocity, of
> >course. So, the pilots are pushing that upper-right-hand corner of the
> >envelope. What everybody tries not to dwell on is that that's where the
> >postage
> >gets canceled, too."
> >--- Admiral Rick Hunter, U.S. Navy.
> >
> >"It only takes five years to go from rumor to standard operating
> >procedure."
> >--- Dick Markgraf
> >
> >"Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers and
> >helicopters -- in that order -- need two."
> >--- Paul Slattery
> >
> >"I've flown every seat on this airplane, can someone tell me why the
other
> >two are always occupied by idiots?"
> >--- Don Taylor
> >
> >As a new copilot on an airliner, I was told to say these three things and
> >to otherwise keep my mouth shut and not touch anything:
> >1. Clear on the right.
> >2. Outer (marker) on the double (indicator)
> >3. I'll eat the chicken. (Crew meals consisted of one steak and one
chicken
> >to avoid possible food poisoning of the cockpit crew).
> >
> >As an aviator in flight you can do anything you want... As long as it's
> >right... And we'll let you know if it's right after you get down.
> >
> >You can't fly forever without getting killed.
> >
> >As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will.
> >a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last
> >flight in an airplane.
> >b. One day you will walk out to the airplane not knowing that it is your
> >last flight in an airplane..
> >
> >Any flight over water in a single engine airplane will absolutely
guarantee
> >abnormal engine noises and vibrations.
> >
> >There are Rules and there are Laws. The rules are made by men who think
> >that they know better how to fly your airplane than you. Laws (of
Physics)
> >were made by the Great One. You can, and sometimes should, suspend the
> >Rules but you can never suspend the Laws.
> >
> >More about Rules:
> > a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea
> >and the talent to execute it.
> > b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance.
(e.g.,
> >If you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.)
> >
> >The pilot is the highest form of life on earth.
> >
> >The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.
> >
> >About check rides:
> > a. The only real objective of a check ride is to complete it and get
the
> >bastard out of your airplane.
> > b. It has never occurred to any flight examiner that the examinee
> >couldn't care less what the examiner's opinion of his flying ability
really
> >is.
> >
> >The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.
> >
> >The job of the Wing Commander is to worry incessantly that his career
> >depends solely on the abilities of his aviators to fly their airplanes
> >without mishap and that their only minuscule contribution to the effort
is
> >to bet their lives on it.
> >
> >Ever notice the only experts who decree the age of the pilot is over are
> >people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the intensity of
> >their feelings the pilot's day is over I know of no expert who has
> >volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.
> >
> >It is absolutely imperative the pilot be unpredictable. Rebelliousness is
> >very predictable. In the end, conforming almost all the time is the best
> >way to be unpredictable.
> >
> >He who demands everything his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that
> >demands one iota more is a fool.
> >
> >If you're gonna fly low, do not fly slow! ASW(Anti-Submarine Warfare)
> >pilots know this only too well.
> >
> >It is solely the pilot's responsibility to never let any other thing
touch
> >his aircraft.
> >
> >If you can learn how to fly as an Ensign or a Second Lieutenant, and not
> >forget how to fly by the time you're a Commander or Colonel, you will
have
> >lived a happy life.
> >
> >Night flying:
> > a. Remember that the airplane doesn't know that it's dark.
> > b. On a clear, moonless night, never fly between the tanker's lights.
> > c. There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.
> > d. If you're going to night fly, it might as well be in the weather so
> >you can double count your exposure to both hazards.
> > e. Night formation is really an endless series of near misses in
> >equilibrium with each other.
> > f. You would have to pay a lot of money at a lot of amusement parks
and
> >perhaps add a few drugs, to get the same blend of psychedelic sensations
as
> >a single engine night weather flight.
> >
> >One of the most important skills a pilot must develop is the skill to
> >ignore those things that were designed by non-pilots to get the pilot's
> >attention.
> >
> >At the end of the day, the controllers, operations supervisors,
maintenance
> >guys, weather guessers, and birds; they're all trying to kill you and
your
> >job is to not let them!
> >
> >The concept of "controlling" airspace with radar is just a form of FAA
> >sarcasm directed at pilots to see if they're gullible enough to swallow
it.
> >Or to put it another way, when's the last time the FAA ever shot anyone
> >down?
> >
> >Remember the radio is only an electronic suggestion for the pilot.
> >Sometimes the only way to clear up a problem is to turn it off.
> >
> >It is a tacit, yet profound admission of the preeminence of flying in the
> >hierarchy of the human spirit, that those who seek to control aviators
via
> >threats always threaten to take one's wings and not one's life.
> >
> >Remember when flying low and inverted that the rudder still works the
same
> >old way but hopefully your instructor pilot never taught you "pull stick
> >back, plane go up".
> >
> >Mastering the prohibited maneuvers in the Operatons Manual is one of the
> >best forms of aviation life insurance you can get.
> >
> >A tactic done twice is a procedure. (Refer to unpredictability discussion
> >above)
> >
> >The aircraft G-limits are only there in case there is another flight by
> >that particular airplane. If subsequent flights do not appear likely,
there
> >are no G-limits. (That's the only thing I wish Airbus understood better.
> >Tommy)
> >
> >One of the beautiful things about a single piloted aircraft is the
quality
> >of the social experience.
> >
> >If a mother has the slightest suspicion that her infant might grow up to
be
> >a pilot, she had better teach him to put things back where hegot them
> >
> >The ultimate responsibility of the pilot is to fulfill the dreams of the
> >countless millions of earthbound ancestors who could only stare skyward
> >...and wish.
>
>
---------------------------------
Find restaurants, movies, travel & more fun for the weekend. Check it out!
Other Matronics Email List Services
These Email List Services are sponsored solely by Matronics and through the generous Contributions of its members.
-- Please support this service by making your Contribution today! --
|